Live your life and not record it!!!!!!

When I write about this topic, I would like to admit that I am a photography enthusiast, granted ' an amateur one' though. Still and all, I haven't clicked a selfie ever, but yes when it comes to captivating moments I can't deny I  am a pro.

It has always been pleasurable to flip over my prized possession -the carefully  organised and chronologically placed pictures every now and then. It is most amusing to watch the boisterous recordings of my kids and reliving their early  childhood. These videos suddenly seem the most priceless gift i could give them by sharing how charming they were. With each elated giggle as they watch it, I  definitely feel the effort was worth it.

Yet, on the other hand, I can't resist the feeling of condemning the people who are obsessed with clicking. I do find that act of theirs very vacuous. Last year when I was travelling, I happened to see some of the most marvellous scenic beauties and of course the most astonishing selfie lovers who captured the spectacular vistas much more than us with the best of cameras and not to forget the most handy selfie stick.

Did they really see it with their eyes too is my question? Or was it just the camera? It's sad that we are so busy posting and sharing the bestest pictures that photoplaying has become an obsession rather than a passion.

I remember my dad clicking pictures while I was young from an old time kodak camera which allowed only 36 clicks including the tainted ones. And strangely though,  I think I still have great reminiscence of those trips. And  guess what he managed to cinematize the panoramic views without knowing what pixel it is.... Though I am still very angry at him sometimes for sidelining me in the pics for want of the spectacular landscapes. Just saying :)

But the point is does this obsession make our memories more precious? Will we able to engrave the paramountcy through just a click? Will taking a shot have preponderance over really experiencing it? I am not sure and I rather not  comment .As of now I  am myself so keen on using an dslr camera.

But I really hope I always remember that cameras and videos are a way to cinematise memories and not a way to eventuating them.

So, walk, look, see, experience and then photograph it. Smile please.

WHY DO I FORGET?

Yes, really!!!!! Why do i forget? All these years, I have led my life with a strong conviction that God has a plan for me and that is all i need to know and that there are some questions that can never be answered except by Him. And yet as I get on with age, growing in this fanatical besotted world, I forget. I let myself be persecuted by these bizarre thoughts and off the hook anxieties as if I hold sway over situations. That isn’t true.

I forget that I trusted Him for every single move in my life. I forget that all I have is because He wants me to. I forget that I had faith in His faith for me. I forget that He has been really good and sometimes exceptional. I forget to show any appreciation or thank Him. I just conveniently forget.  Period.

I overlook that he helped me accomplish my childhood dream of going to the stage just once. I don’t recall that he fulfilled that dream not once but so many times. I don’t remember thanking him for making every single birthday so very very special. I fail to remember that He helped me get my dream college just like a cake walk. I don’t revisit the thought He gave me a treasured family and my beautiful daughters. I don’t remember that he gave me His strength all through.  Was it just a twist of fate? No, I know that and yet i find it decorous to forget.

Isn’t that so easy? We never forget to check our what’s app or reply to an email or go out on the weekend but yes we always forget to look back and thank God. More importantly we persistently disregard to trust what He is doing for us, despite knowing that he has been doing so always and forever so well.

It happens. We take the nice things for granted. Don’t we? Dint we take our mom’s caring for granted and our dad’s support for certain? Did we not take it easy when our sister asked us to do her homework and yet we didn’t.  Because we knew they will always be there and they will always be nice and their presence in our life is undeniable. No matter what!!!  That’s how God has been in my life. His presence has been most unswerving and incontestable.  And I have always truly taken Him established until the end of time.

But imagine what happiness we create by thanking our parents and doing our sister’s work.  The smile we bring on their faces and the delight in our heart. Guess you cotton on what I am aiming to articulate. Saying thank you is more than just good manners. It is spirituality. And when I do so to my life force, it’s a remarkable feeling. There are ‘n’ number of things that I am sure didn’t come my way in a flash. They came because they were skilfully laid out through my journey which i have travelled with effort and His no ordinary blessings.

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 I would want to recollect this little story I had read as a child.

When I was a little boy, my mother used to embroider a great deal. I would sit at her knee and look up from the floor and ask what she was doing. She informed me that she was embroidering. I told her that it looked like a mess from where I was. As from the underside I watched her work with in the boundaries of the little round hoop that she held in her hand, I complained to her that it sure looked messy from where I sat. 

She would smile at me, look down and gently say, "My son, you go about your playing for awhile, and when I am finished with my embroidering, I will put you on my knee and let you see it from my side." I would wonder why she was using some dark threads along with the bright ones and why they seemed so jumbled from my view. A few minutes would pass and then I would hear Mother's voice say, "Come and sit on my knee." 

This I did only to be surprised and thrilled to see a beautiful flower or a sunset. I could not believe it, because from underneath it looked so messy. Then Mother would say to me, It was a design. I was only following it. 

Many times through the years I have looked up to my Heavenly Father and said, "Father, what are You doing?" He has answered, "I am embroidering your life." 

I say, "But it looks like a mess to me. It seems so jumbled. The threads seem so dark. Why can’t they all be bright?" The Father seems to tell me, "My child, you go about your business of doing and one day I will put you on My knee and you will see the beautiful design."

Yes indeed. After reading this, there is only one thing i want to say ‘Trusting God? Best decision ever.’

Iceland - a lil bit of heaven

How should i start? 4 years back when we looked at this waterfall picture in a PNB calendar put up in our dining area, Gagan and me decided that we must plan to visit Iceland, not knowing that Seljalandfoss (waterfalls) was only one of the extraordinary natural wonders and dynamic arctic illuminations alongwith the northern lights and the midnight sun.

Every day, we were in for a surprise. Despite the fact that i  belong to such a versatile country like India, I was awestruck at the beauty of this country. The open spaces, clean air, unspoiled nature, the Viking heritage, waterfalls and hot springs, volcanic mountains on the left, glaciers on the right as we drove along the Atlantic ocean taking an entire circle of the Island.

Despite the hoards of youngsters who venture to Iceland on a weekend to explore the happening night life of Reykjavik, the number one reason why one should be here is its nature. The capital city is definitely beautiful. Swimming in hot geothermal pools is by far the most popular outdoor activity here. The main shopping lane was simple yet coulourful and exciting. A unique exhibit of creativity on the exteriors of these showrooms was worth capturing. 

Our cosy two room cottage was located in a little suburban area which added charm to the whole visit. My cousin and an old time school friend joined us here. So we did what we must- made the most of it- cooking, dancing and laughing. From Reykjavik, we visited the snaefelsnes peninsula. Snaefell jokull kofull like we call it :) is the highest mountain in the peninsula and has the glacier at its peak. 

Moving towards to the centre of iceland, was the Gulfoss, the queen of Icelandic waterfalls and the Geysir which boasts its hot springs every 15 minutes. What was really unique was Thingevellir- where the continental plates of North America and Europe meet. Interesting!!

Though it was summers here, but the cold arctic air made the weather so chilly and windy that we would be tremoring most of the times. We started our trip with the breathtaking landscapes of western fjords at isafjordur. This snow capped region is still a little less explored but is definitely not worth missing.

A treasure that i will always remember seeing is the Jokulsarlon, an isolated glacier lagoon at the realm of Vatnajokull glacier. It was a breathtaking view to see a lake just below a huge glacier where miniature icebergs were standing in a perfect poise to welcome the travellers from all over. Snow mobiling over these silver bright glaciers was a fun ride with a little adventure and wilderness. After dressing up in a snowsuit, we stepped into the super jeep (which i like to address as jeeps with heels) to fly across the Myrdalsjokull glacier with nothing in front but white vistas of the rugged mountains. we realized that these snow scooters were pretty simple- It was just a matter of squeezing the accelerator or the brake. This one was quite close to Eyjafjallajokull which marked the volcanic eruption of 2010 that caused disruption to air travel across Europe for six days.

On the south coast, we certainly could not get over the amazing black sand beaches at Vik, but Dryholaey needs a special mention. Perched upon this precipice were a variety of arctic birds. Whether you are a bird lover or just a bystander like me, spotting the peculiar Icelandic puffin is sure to please.

Not to forget Husavik in northern Iceland where we went as close as 20 miles before the Arctic circle to watch the Whales. We were lucky to see the Humpback surfacing time and again for us but i think on that oak boat ride, we definitely saw a little piece of heaven too which will remain engraved in my memory forever.

Driving 3000 km was really nice but what made me envious were those strong bikers and back packers who arrived with full zeal and eagerness to pitch their tents in Iceland's vast wilderness. I wish i can someday come back to this heaven but with such an adventurous spirit.

When my daughter Suhaani was making her project on animals, she asked me quite curiously as to why the arctic animals were only white and not as colorful as other animals. Now i shall go back and tell her that it is because they belong to a place thats totally divine.

Priti

WHY INSECURE?

A 12-year-old boy, who went missing on Thursday from outside his school, kept the south district police on its toes throughout the afternoon. The boy had got scared after accidentally breaking the laptop of a fellow student. His friends said he would have to shell out a hefty amount. Scared, he fled the school and roamed around. He sat in parks, cried and wondered how to make up for the loss. Fortunately he was found and is back home.

When I hear news like this, I feel very confused. Ofcourse the first instinct is to blame the school for such irresponsibility like all my friends are discussing on social chat programs. But then I do have a tiny feeling which says that why the children in this generation are so insecure. Especially when we are giving them such a protected upbringing. - Only goods and no bads. Should we not feel more confident because we are doing everything that we can to shelter them.

I think all of us take so much pride in knowing that our child has a mind of its own and if objected once, he gets upset. We….. By we, I also mean myself….  do not shout at our kids every now and then so that he or she doesn’t feel angry or depressed  given the circumstances of  the outside world.

However, still a glimpse of the newspapers itself is scary these days. I don’t know if these disapproving and harmful things have gone up or our media has become more efficient in reporting them. But yes it is depressing and miserable.

And here I am contemplating again what’s best for my baby. Sending him out or no? I have no clue how to handle this. Of course I want to send them to school, then college and then work but then what about their safety. Why am I so under-confident and anxious?

I feel there are two ways to go about it.

One is to coach them for every unpredictable situation; Safguard every inch of a milieu they walk to ensure nothing is unpleasant for them; which I bet is impossible .Being a parent I so fancy it was a fairy tale’s world.

 The other is to groom them to handle. By this I mean, we need to make them alert and not scared of the wrong deeds; we need to make them responsible to do things carefully and not burdened ; we need to teach them to be a good listener while they learn to raise their viewpoints;  and most importantly, we need to make them more TOLERANT not to the wrongs but to the difficulties. I think that will help them build their mental strength to handle the situation better and act in the most rational and watchful way.

Its quite thorny and easier said than done. But quite honestly, don’t you agree that even after taking endless number of assessments in school and college for which we were all so prepared; there are bigger exams in life which we have faced. And surpassed them much more bravely and boldly; And nobody in fact made us ready or gave us any indication for the same.

We simply learnt to grow out of that condition and emerged; moving on much stronger, further positive and particularly SECURE.

So, lets all try to make our children more Self-assured than actually wrap them in a cotton wool.

WHAT IS PRECIOUS?

What is precious? Let me think. Hmmmm……Diamonds, sapphires? Or from my sister’s mouth, it could be her ATM? My darling daughter has a different answer though. Kids are so creative and fundamental that they sometimes end up teaching us the more valuable lessons that we tend to forget as we get on with our busy hard erring lives.

Sometime ago, I was travelling with my daughters in a train. In some way they always look forward to a train journey much more than any other. The mention of it brings in the fervor in them, to gear up for the expedition. Mind it, it does sound like an expedition and nothing less.  It means lots of munching, surplus play time and of course unremitting attention from us. And like each time they were all set with their whole assortment of colours, drawing books, stationery, story book, clay etc. for a mere 4 hour journey.

They particularly prefer the ‘red’ train (Rajdhani) to the blue one (Shatabdi); the reason being the super attractive upper berth to play on. Suhaani insisted to climb on to play with her sisters. While I rose to push her up, her dismayed look to see her crayons fall off her lap, was quite a sight. And like as if the most meticulous girl, instantly and painstakingly she picked them up all and caressed them to carefully handover to me. I was only left wondering if those were her most prizest possession and contemplating in astonishment as what exactly precious was I carrying in my handbag.

I only felt amused at her diligent and insufferably precious performance. I was happy. One coz she was learning to take care of her things on her own and valuing the littlest and most inexpensive things too. But more so coz I learnt to appreciate what precious really is. Not my money, house or jewellery but the real riches that lie deep within your soul and that can never be taken away.

I think its incredible to observe how she collects her little toys, her clips and a few other knick-knacks each day and arrange them like there is nothing more dear in this world.  She will find so much fun in exploring her new toy taking pleasure in the entire discovery. What I feel is that this art that children have is remarkable.

I am sure this is the fairer truth of life what my doll is chasing day in day out and not what we adults are. We consider gold and jade to be precious treasures, but we let pass the little things which bring us true happiness. At this point I cannot resist to mention what happened last week.  While I was away to my friends place, Suhaani my new teacher, who persuaded to stay at my aunt’s place for that time, went missing without anybody’s knowledge. I panicked and rushed back to find her. I was in the gush of emotions of so many ‘what ifs?.’ What if she is picked up by someone? What is she is hurt by a car? Within a span of one minute I can’t imagine the things my mind visualized. Next I broke down wondering how I would do without her. I know I was over reacting but found it impossible to hold. Unexpectedly, I get a call from home saying that she has reached back home on her own. God bless. Wow! She is just three and did she really walk back a kilometer to reach home safely?  I was angry at her, relieved for she was safe and honestly a little proud that she knew how to take care of herself. Even though I had decided that I won’t talk to her when I reach back to make her realize how inappropriate her action was, nevertheless I hugged her too tight not letting her go for almost an hour. I certainly understood how invaluable she meant to me; probably much more than anything else in this world. And then I knew who to thank for all the little miracles in our lives. – the precious shield of God that guards us well in all the darkest valleys that we must traverse. “Life becomes precious and more special to us when we look for the little everyday miracles and get excited about the privileges of simply being human”

THINK ABOUT IT

I would love to share this one. Now a days, whenever I meet my friends or family, a much preferred discussion topic always is that how am I managing to be sane with three little kids around when on the other hand most of them are finding it hard with just one? Honestly, like I already mentioned I would not be complete without even one of them; leave alone feeling hassled. After having raised them for five years, I sense that each contributes a little to make a WHOLE ME.

When my intimates and associates ask me this, I am not sure if they are mocking at my fortunate destiny to have a handful of children or they are envious of my non-complaining look or they are trying to compliment me. I certainly do not have an idea but I definitely never feel the need to explain or respond to their inane query.

But here is one thing I always wanted to say. No matter how difficult it is to raise a child; no matter how barmy it gets, we must not state this remark over and over again, at least not in front of them. Just imagine how we would feel if our parents or friends even faintly stated that in front of us.  Our children are too juvenile to understand anything now but soon they will begin to and it might be depressing for them to know so.

Lot of you might argue that you never implied anything seriously. I also know none of us ever mean to tell our child that he or she is unwanted. We happen to say it just like that. That is precisely why I want to talk about it and tell you that its not nice to hear that not even as a joke.

Read this: ‘I wonder how exactly do I do it but I guess I really trouble my Mom because I have seen her telling her friends that she is quite relieved when I am off to school for four hours. And even though I look forward to holidays so much, she is always concerned as to what exactly will she keep me busy with. I just don’t like it.’ These are the words of my daughter’s friends.

I was quite upset and realized how such a little thing pinched her.  In her formative years, this has a long role to play. It is in fact disheartening to hear such words from your own parents especially in front of anybody else. So, when children grow up demanding their own space and no interference, I think we now know how and where it all started.

There is one more unique thing about the contemporary parenting.  A few have postponed the decision to have a second child indefinitely for the sake of convenience. Amid being a qualified professional, proficient house maker and a perfect mother, it does get very difficult. I agree. However, we fail to see its significance. Though fate didnt give me too much time to think on those lines but I am so grateful that I did not.

When I see the three of them playing together and commanding me to stay out of their fun pursuit, I do not feel burdened. I feel happy; Happy to know that my child is attached to her siblings much more than me. It only gives me enormous satisfaction and delight. Chit-chatting, role playing, story-telling, screaming, yelling and then suddenly a bear hug and affection right after a combat as if nothing had ever happened; it all seems like a fantasy world. A world that I, being an only child, thought existed merely in fairy tales.

I cherish to know that this bonding can exist solitarily between them and no matter how much I try, my company cannot be as amusing, dynamic and entertaining as their own sisters. And when they grow up, I can imagine how well they will take care of each other too. Its touching to see how Suhaani ensures that Ananya does not forget to wear her belt to school; And how Ananya helps to keep Pallavi’s pencils in her box so that she is not scolded in school; And how Pallavi ascertains that Suhaani  finishes her homework on time. Woah! Did I think, all of that was my job?  

So, what I intend to imply is that don’t be so self-absorbed. Don’t leave out the idea of another offspring simply because you will find it more convenient to complete only one homework than two; Or because it suits you more to feed one and put her to sleep than a set of two.; Or because it is less stressful to cope up with the tantrums of a single child than the double act.

It is a vital choice. Look at it this way that we are depriving our own child from privilege of having a kin and also ourselves from the pleasure of raising a younger child. It’s a totally different experience and worth every sweat. As for your space, individuality and fatigue, I have only one thing to say. Even though it is exhausting for me to program their essentials each day, I still feel so pleased and satisfied to see my daughters valuing my efforts so much. I think it’s incredible. This makes me feel like an achiever and gives me a re-assurance that no other work in this world can give me this ecstatic joy.

A HUG IS ALL I NEED

Over the years of rearing my little ones, I realized that they are no more new born tiny tots whom I can fuss over. They are young individuals already at the age of four. They understand, react, feel and go through same set of emotions that we do;  only in a bit more animated way. My daughter Ananya helped me recognize that while I try to instill the right values in her, it doesn’t necessarily mean that she will do that right away and it is as simple for as I tell her.  She needs a little time like we all do when handling a new situation. So this come straight from her heart through my words.

A HUG IS ALL I NEED……….

After you drop me to school

I might miss you , I start to weep

School is essential;

I also intend to Agree

But I despise all your preachings that precede

I feel sad and sometimes a hug is all I need

Once I lie to you

Coz I am afraid to tell you my deed

It is unruly behaviour

I understand what you teach

But I don’t like you scolding, I do not pay heed

I feel sad and sometimes a hug is all I need

As I put across numerous inquests

About nature, people, cars and speed

I know I am peculiarly curious

 Your staying power exceeds

But I am gloomy to see my contentment unachieved

I feel sad and sometimes a hug is all I need

While I play to the core of my heart

And you put me to sleep

Only coz going to school is a must

You explain me to deep

But I dislike your discipline supersedes

I feel sad and sometimes a hug is all I need

When you refuse to get me my favourite  toy

Because of my mischief

I realize my mistake

Time after time, I go to extremes

But my apologies do not make you pleased

I feel sad and sometimes a hug is all I need

When I behave like a nag

Refusing to eat my meals

It is not about the taste;

 I just hate force feed

Still I push myself only so that you feel relieved

I feel sad and sometimes a hug is all I need

Mommy! Did I ever tell you

I may be stubborn and hard to concede

Juvenile but sharp, I plead

 Don’t make your suggestion as if a court’s decreed

Coz I also feel like you all feel.

As I grow up into an individual indeed

Sometimes, A hug is all I need.