BLISS IN WILDERNESS

PC: Suhaani Saraogi

Candidly, neither do I come across as a person who would love to go on a trek nor do I think I have any endurance to even try it. However, this changed until my last holiday. I realised how much I relish falling in love with the nature – it’s flowing, beautiful changing colours. How much joy it brings to me when I see the magical sky as the blazing sun retires. And how the curtain of stars is scattered across the sky and their multitude humbles me. And how the scintillating sound of water through open wide panoramic window can pour in blissful peace into me. I don’t deny I just don’t get too much of it these days in the unrelenting running around. But I totally miss it!

When I reached Queenstown, the most cool place in NZ, if I may be allowed to be a little snobbish, I just felt so low. I just knew I had to do something else besides just the adventures and night life that this place is known for. I had to explore something which brought some kind of different charm and harmony.

So spontaneously, we packed for a day trip to Glenorchy and decided to go for a trek. Sculpted with mountaneous landscape, we picked a lovely easy loop walk through the massive Beech trees. And I have nothing to boast about when I say that just a beginner’s trek drained me out and I was walking like I am an 80 year old feeling a little stunned to see the relaxed smile on others walking along. Phew !!

Never mind, I cant deny, fatigue and embarrassment were the last things that I carried back with me. That two hour trek brought me to life again. Reminding me to re-live and look around with rose coloured glasses. One thing I think I was always so good at and yet had forgotten.

Finally, pretty soon, we planned a visit to Manali. Even though we kind of like to say we went on a trek to Hampta pass, actually it was just the first leg of the path that we rambled. Had I really managed to reach Hampta pass, I would have abolutely felt no less than Sir Edmund Hillary.

Well, we planned this with my cousins and my daughters. Much to the dismay of our over enthusiasm, we read that this was something more casual than we were wanting to boast about. Serene calmness and pristine surrounding with gradual slopes seemed easy. Nevertheless, I was incredibly excited. But I didn’t realize what I was getting myself into.

For a girl who can easily thump into her own bed which has been invariably around for so many years, it was certainly a cracked thing to plan a 4km hike up the hill. Stairs would have made things easier, but there weren’t any, so trail was the only option. The journey was full of surprises and amazing scenes.

After about a km, when I looked around, it seemed like I am the only one who was struggling more than anyone else. I found myself stopping and panting for breath. Thanks to my daughter Suhaani who held my hand leading me all the way through the zig zag routes; I just managed to skid down just once.

Light rains had begun as we were trekking back followed by snow fall beautifying everything it covered. As if the divine was embracing me- a feeling that will not leave me forever. All I know is that that day, even when we were so many of us together, but a part of me was celebrating the solitude that I derived - running by me yet again that there existed goodness in life, strength in standing tall, peace in taking a breather from the virtual world.

I know I cant go back every weekend, but I take out a little time now to just sit down on the terrace and be alive. Or just log off the computer and get into my shoes and step out to Nehru Park; Hoping that once in a while right in the middle of an ordinary life, taking a walk in the trees and breathing the wild air might just bring extra ordinary bliss.

JUDGE ME NOT!!!!!

I feel that one thing I have always despised is judging anyone. But over time I also realised that even though I thought I was not probably judging most but shelfing a few who were not my types. I was only pronouncing that our temperaments and inclinations were a little different; I hate to admit that it was in fact my JUDGEMENT.

I don’t like apple products, cars like Audi for the simple reason that I have never appreciated flamboyant spending without any functionality. So, there I was, conveniently remarking that each person holding that apple icon and driving a grandiose car was pretentious.

I would also take pride in explaining that to my kids as to why I made that choice. In trying to instill real values, did I teach them to judge others wrong and judge me right?  Now that is a guilty question which I am afraid to or I should say I don’t even want to address.

To make my children responsible individuals, I preach them moral values like honesty, loyalty, respect, self- reliance, discipline, patience, gratitude, forgiveness and courtesy. But while I do so, I take the liberty to correct them and also sometimes end up judging them. There is a very fine line between a comment and a statement. And I don’t even know when that line stands crossed. Am I supposed to parent them ( which by the way entails judging the kids all the time) or am I supposed to let them be? I have no clue.

Interestingly, I did not consider analysing is the same thing as judging; not until recently when I realised in the game of, I judge this-I don’t judge this, I had started pigeonholing myself too. I had started putting myself in such high standards of touchstone - to not be allowed to be wrong, not be allowed to make mistakes, to be not allowed to fall weak. And there I was - trapped in my own judgement. How could I be wrong when I am so meticulous in making choices with reason? How could I be forgetful when I am planning every little detail? How can I be so okay with such average results? And lots more!!!!  Phew! I was sooooooooooo tired.

I needed a breather. I needed to understand that there is no right or wrong honestly. And this simple lesson came from my own daughter. Even though whenever she tries to challenge what I stand for, its never kind of  easy but Last week it was a little different. The other day, when I stopped her from wearing a yellow dress which to my understanding was just not suiting her, she pointed out that she wants to wear it because she is just loving the feel of it. I will not deny that I wanted to exercise my supremacy over her choice but I held myself back and decided not to let her feel judged- not by me at least.

Honestly, there is no judgement needed; no barometer required. Neither for those who spend extravagantly over a phone nor over me who was being so self-righteous taking pride in not using the same. Its just a matter of personal choice. Having an opinion is important but only to the extent that you want to make choices for yourself not to button down others into a statement.

Its okay if one gets happiness by wearing whatever they like, by leading their lives in whatever manner, by setting their own benchmarks. Often people who are meticulously giving so much of thought to each and every little breath they take, end up judging themselves the most and drain themselves.

We should try to live each day so fully, so alive that we are so pleased and content with every minute that went. We are hard on each other because we are using each other as a launching pad out of our own perceived deificiency. So, lesson well learnt -

"Never waste time explaining yourself to others who are bound to misunderstand you and stop typecasting the ones who are not like you."

 Wow it feels good to have said that and even better to feel inspired to practice that.

All one should judge is how happy they are and how happy they can get!!!

GLENORCHY HIGH

Glenorchy high

  It had only been hour before
She wished something more majestic to explore.
Not knowing what awaits her day
She was bracing to fly away.
Amidst the mountains so high and tall
But no fears, no apprehensions, no jitters at all.
Romancing with nature it seemed
Holding fast to her dreams.
Love for this vastness so intrigue
Feeling alive, calm and complete.
A mind at peace with all below
She put her foot on the snow.
Facing atop its sunlit summit
Feeling something in her spirit.
Strength of its zenith and air so thin
She will always carry within.
Comfort in the quiet lingers on
Fragrance of its beauty settles on.
She wore the strongest posture now
Knowing she can walk in the clouds.
Halfway to the very sky
Never had she been this high!!!!