Work or children? Or Both? That’s a tough one. I am ready to reward anyone who can answer that with ease, with undoubted surety. A question I believe every woman faces it these days. I still am.
People tell me that it’s not the amount of time that matters; it’s the quality time that you spend with your child. But hello, if I try to spend the day doing just as much as is really important to my children, I don’t know where my time flies, forget about quality time.
I want to be a perfect mom, close to that at least. Be right there waiting, when they rush out of school just dying to see me……. Applaud them on their little achievements…. read out stories as they sleep into their sweet dreams… ensure an amazing meal……play with them to infinity like a child…….and find answers to their ceaseless needless but obvious questions.
But what also concerns me is how I continue to work. I would like to devote a portion of my time to work as a minimum. Something on the lines what I truly consider one needs to grow on in life. I also want to be a role model to my children of how I proficiently manage both.
I can tell you the decision is quite baffling and thinking about it more, leaves me only more perplexed. The fact is that one does not have optimum energy levels all day long. Cause as much as I try to will myself not to feel tired, the truth is, I do get tired. The dilemna grows.
And then, I close my eyes and remember……. I grew more independent because my parents truly were my pillar in my pre-adolescent years. Maybe because they were always there for me, I am so sharp and responsible. It’s how they raised me that way – not so much because of anybody else that I came across or any institution that I ever went to- that has influenced my eventual decisions of life.
I guess the decision is made; it’s just that you have to have the courage to accept it. Giving time to your child is not a cost you pay for fore-going your career, it’s an investment of your time to nurture her life, a life which you decided to give her and she trusted you completely on that. If a mother realises how vital her care is to a young baby ‘it may make it easier for her to decide that the extra satisfaction she might receive from an outside job, is not so important after all’
My dear little girls, truly on the brink of facing the big (bad?) world out there are going to be off to Primary by next year. As much as I want to protect them from the cruelties of growing up, I know I can’t…so my next best choice is to hold their hands and walk them through it as far as I can.
And it only makes me proud of this decision. It’s not a compromise.
