“Mom, I qualified for the finals of Oxford Union Debate”, called Ananya when I was at work. I told her that since it’s a second Saturday she surely could manage to participate without missing out on her school. “It’s in person, Mom! and you know what I am going to Oxford.”; she exclaimed. I was zapped with the words and also quite taken by her thrill. I obviously refuted outrightly not knowing what this debate platform meant. By the way we finally did go with her team member Ansh and her Mentor Swati, after not one but many glitches which I am sure both the kiddos don’t want me to mention. Sorry, I mean young adults.
As the largest British Parliamentary schools’ debate competition in the UK, the Oxford Schools’ Debating Competition is aimed for keen students in senior school. Contentious motions are expected to be given to the students where there is only 15 minutes preparation, with no access to the Internet or help from external parties. Students then utilise this time to structure their arguments in a cohesive manner to formulate a well-reasoned speech- clever use of word play can often come to be helpful in terms of gaining points.
The debate consists of four teams, containing two speakers each, which are divided into two sides that speak for and against the motion. Due to the style's origins in British parliamentary procedure, the two sides are called the Government and the Opposition.
When I heard the conveners explain all this to the competing teams, I suddenly looked at Ananya and Ansh, wondering as to whether they were even aware of this. And to my surprise they were. She was the Prime minister and her friend the Deputy PM in the upcoming round, and they were quite clear of their goals whether they were the opening government or closing opposition or whatever all of it was. I could only grab a chocolate to gulp it all down because I could hardly get a word of all that into my head.
Debate was well staged at the Union Poetry Room. Ananya and Ansh communicated their ideas to each other effectively. Asking the relevant POIs, giving out clear rebuttals were all keys to secure a good score in the eyes of the judges. It seemed some serious business I should tell you. I was fortunate to witness them debating seeing their cheeks fully flushed. I realized the challenge was that they were not to state their opinion. They had to position themself to win an argument, dismissing their companion’s points no matter whether they agreed or not. They were in this fight to be crowned the person most in the right.
When I saw other pro teams , I saw them talk in very militaristic language, very strong arguments- Arguments that have a lot of punch. Arguments that are right on target. The way they said ‘No, Thank you!’ to the interjections a few times and then take it up the other times, their responses made it sound like there was no possibility of negotiation on the point put forth by them. Period.
Having witnessed these budding debaters, for a moment I myself felt trapped in the bubble of feeling very right about everything.
And so at the end of it when you are not in the winning position, you do feel a level of disbelief because you feel you can just get up argue that too convincingly. Who does not want to experience the joy and delightful taste of victory after all. Winning gives us the sensation of relief after hard training for days, accompanied by the euphoria and satisfaction of proving that we are good at something.
But then like everything in life, there is also another face of the coin that we should also embrace as strongly as we do when we win…when we lose. And the fact is that You’re going to lose most of the competitions you enter. But the way to lose with style is to create possibility. To be creative... To do exemplary work that’s worth talking about.
So next time if you are losing sleep over not winning....look at the mirror and say this
“Damn. I think that i am way too young to be getting wrinkles around my eyes." And move on to experience the next thing. Rest assured that will be only bigger than what u just did.
PS: Did I want them to win? Want- Ayes to that one but did I expect- Nopes. I expected them to experience. The whole of it and sink it down fully, engraved into their memories of formative years, never to fade out!
