JUDGE ME NOT!!!!!

I feel that one thing I have always despised is judging anyone. But over time I also realised that even though I thought I was not probably judging most but shelfing a few who were not my types. I was only pronouncing that our temperaments and inclinations were a little different; I hate to admit that it was in fact my JUDGEMENT.

I don’t like apple products, cars like Audi for the simple reason that I have never appreciated flamboyant spending without any functionality. So, there I was, conveniently remarking that each person holding that apple icon and driving a grandiose car was pretentious.

I would also take pride in explaining that to my kids as to why I made that choice. In trying to instill real values, did I teach them to judge others wrong and judge me right?  Now that is a guilty question which I am afraid to or I should say I don’t even want to address.

To make my children responsible individuals, I preach them moral values like honesty, loyalty, respect, self- reliance, discipline, patience, gratitude, forgiveness and courtesy. But while I do so, I take the liberty to correct them and also sometimes end up judging them. There is a very fine line between a comment and a statement. And I don’t even know when that line stands crossed. Am I supposed to parent them ( which by the way entails judging the kids all the time) or am I supposed to let them be? I have no clue.

Interestingly, I did not consider analysing is the same thing as judging; not until recently when I realised in the game of, I judge this-I don’t judge this, I had started pigeonholing myself too. I had started putting myself in such high standards of touchstone - to not be allowed to be wrong, not be allowed to make mistakes, to be not allowed to fall weak. And there I was - trapped in my own judgement. How could I be wrong when I am so meticulous in making choices with reason? How could I be forgetful when I am planning every little detail? How can I be so okay with such average results? And lots more!!!!  Phew! I was sooooooooooo tired.

I needed a breather. I needed to understand that there is no right or wrong honestly. And this simple lesson came from my own daughter. Even though whenever she tries to challenge what I stand for, its never kind of  easy but Last week it was a little different. The other day, when I stopped her from wearing a yellow dress which to my understanding was just not suiting her, she pointed out that she wants to wear it because she is just loving the feel of it. I will not deny that I wanted to exercise my supremacy over her choice but I held myself back and decided not to let her feel judged- not by me at least.

Honestly, there is no judgement needed; no barometer required. Neither for those who spend extravagantly over a phone nor over me who was being so self-righteous taking pride in not using the same. Its just a matter of personal choice. Having an opinion is important but only to the extent that you want to make choices for yourself not to button down others into a statement.

Its okay if one gets happiness by wearing whatever they like, by leading their lives in whatever manner, by setting their own benchmarks. Often people who are meticulously giving so much of thought to each and every little breath they take, end up judging themselves the most and drain themselves.

We should try to live each day so fully, so alive that we are so pleased and content with every minute that went. We are hard on each other because we are using each other as a launching pad out of our own perceived deificiency. So, lesson well learnt -

"Never waste time explaining yourself to others who are bound to misunderstand you and stop typecasting the ones who are not like you."

 Wow it feels good to have said that and even better to feel inspired to practice that.

All one should judge is how happy they are and how happy they can get!!!