THINK ABOUT IT

I would love to share this one. Now a days, whenever I meet my friends or family, a much preferred discussion topic always is that how am I managing to be sane with three little kids around when on the other hand most of them are finding it hard with just one? Honestly, like I already mentioned I would not be complete without even one of them; leave alone feeling hassled. After having raised them for five years, I sense that each contributes a little to make a WHOLE ME.

When my intimates and associates ask me this, I am not sure if they are mocking at my fortunate destiny to have a handful of children or they are envious of my non-complaining look or they are trying to compliment me. I certainly do not have an idea but I definitely never feel the need to explain or respond to their inane query.

But here is one thing I always wanted to say. No matter how difficult it is to raise a child; no matter how barmy it gets, we must not state this remark over and over again, at least not in front of them. Just imagine how we would feel if our parents or friends even faintly stated that in front of us.  Our children are too juvenile to understand anything now but soon they will begin to and it might be depressing for them to know so.

Lot of you might argue that you never implied anything seriously. I also know none of us ever mean to tell our child that he or she is unwanted. We happen to say it just like that. That is precisely why I want to talk about it and tell you that its not nice to hear that not even as a joke.

Read this: ‘I wonder how exactly do I do it but I guess I really trouble my Mom because I have seen her telling her friends that she is quite relieved when I am off to school for four hours. And even though I look forward to holidays so much, she is always concerned as to what exactly will she keep me busy with. I just don’t like it.’ These are the words of my daughter’s friends.

I was quite upset and realized how such a little thing pinched her.  In her formative years, this has a long role to play. It is in fact disheartening to hear such words from your own parents especially in front of anybody else. So, when children grow up demanding their own space and no interference, I think we now know how and where it all started.

There is one more unique thing about the contemporary parenting.  A few have postponed the decision to have a second child indefinitely for the sake of convenience. Amid being a qualified professional, proficient house maker and a perfect mother, it does get very difficult. I agree. However, we fail to see its significance. Though fate didnt give me too much time to think on those lines but I am so grateful that I did not.

When I see the three of them playing together and commanding me to stay out of their fun pursuit, I do not feel burdened. I feel happy; Happy to know that my child is attached to her siblings much more than me. It only gives me enormous satisfaction and delight. Chit-chatting, role playing, story-telling, screaming, yelling and then suddenly a bear hug and affection right after a combat as if nothing had ever happened; it all seems like a fantasy world. A world that I, being an only child, thought existed merely in fairy tales.

I cherish to know that this bonding can exist solitarily between them and no matter how much I try, my company cannot be as amusing, dynamic and entertaining as their own sisters. And when they grow up, I can imagine how well they will take care of each other too. Its touching to see how Suhaani ensures that Ananya does not forget to wear her belt to school; And how Ananya helps to keep Pallavi’s pencils in her box so that she is not scolded in school; And how Pallavi ascertains that Suhaani  finishes her homework on time. Woah! Did I think, all of that was my job?  

So, what I intend to imply is that don’t be so self-absorbed. Don’t leave out the idea of another offspring simply because you will find it more convenient to complete only one homework than two; Or because it suits you more to feed one and put her to sleep than a set of two.; Or because it is less stressful to cope up with the tantrums of a single child than the double act.

It is a vital choice. Look at it this way that we are depriving our own child from privilege of having a kin and also ourselves from the pleasure of raising a younger child. It’s a totally different experience and worth every sweat. As for your space, individuality and fatigue, I have only one thing to say. Even though it is exhausting for me to program their essentials each day, I still feel so pleased and satisfied to see my daughters valuing my efforts so much. I think it’s incredible. This makes me feel like an achiever and gives me a re-assurance that no other work in this world can give me this ecstatic joy.