THE LESSON IN FALLING

Are we all not so proud of our kids? Haven’t we found ourselves elated at their eloquent manners, lucid expressions, “A” grades, prize winnings and the star credits they have got at their dazzling performances? Even though they are still so young; No matter how many they get, one more would still make us histrionic. Truly, have we never caught ourselves eyeing them to be the next one to be recognized at whatever possible opportunity? I will not lie. I have. Even though I have never expressed that to my kids but silently yes whenever they are, I feel brilliant.

And why shouldn’t we? It is a great thing to achieve, to perform, to step out and learn. It means more exposure, more confidence, more fun and more medals on the superior parenting tag too.

But are we forgetting something. In trying to help them reach for the stars, are we forgetting to tell them about falling before rising. In our process to making them the best, are we forgetting to bring out the best in them? In trying to teach them to outclass are we forgetting to build compassion in them for the less competent in class?

We only taught them how to achieve wherein all of us know the fact. One life doesn’t come with only good bunches of happiness; second, how uplifting and crucial it is to fail. We all know we have faced more struggles than success. Success is just an end result to all the bottlenecks that we crossed and to all the collapses that we decided not to give up on and to all the let downs which we refused to be content with. It is the courage to continue that counts.

I remember when Ananya won the third prize in an Inter school painting competition two years back, I was totally elated. That is the first time I realised what it feels to be a parent when your child is recognized. I have been a frontrunner all through my life but suddenly this one seemed like the best one ever. So as thrilled as I was, I asked my darling as to what it was to go up on the stage and bagging the winning trophy. And what I heard from her was very humbling.

“I liked going on the stage”, she said “But I think i truly loved making the painting”. All that she talked about was her first bus ride to the venue where the competition was held and how bad she felt for her friend who was crying for no reward. Isn’t that so uncomplicated? So here I was meekly reminding myself to not ever transform the reason of her delight from “ The Painting” to the “The Prize”; from “The Journey” to “The Goal”.

I often remember reading such quotes but got a glimpse of the truth in her words. Earlier, I used to share my achievements with her a lot time and again. But from that day onwards, I started sharing my failures, more of my fiascos and experiences of my foolishness too. I must say, besides the fact that she was learning to know that it was absolutely fine to have slip-ups in life; she was really having a good time laughing and chuckiling at all the mistakes that her so called perfect mom made.

I remind her often now that she must say yes to the idea of adventures that she will be facing in life and that it’s okay to cry and make mistakes. And I hope I taught her the most important credo in life – the Lesson in Falling.

In the words of Thomas A. Edison,” I have not failed. I have just found ten thousand ways that won’t work”.